They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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