Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right.  I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..

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  (267) 4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right.  I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room.. http://tfl.nu/v238
  Replies (7) Good night (3639) Bad night (674)
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  (213): View more from California

  he quoted Bring It On. It's over.

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  (213): he quoted Bring It On. It's over. http://tfl.nu/r2ms
  Replies (10) Good night (718) Bad night (2435) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life

  (619): View more from California

  with a huge shlong

  (440): View more from Ohio

  massive. i wanna make bitches cry

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  (440): if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life (619): with a huge shlong (440): massive. i wanna make bitches cry http://tfl.nu/imk4
  Replies (39) Good night (5653) Bad night (632)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.

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  (715): I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis. http://tfl.nu/unom
  Replies (8) Good night (1081) Bad night (3494) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  so let's talk penis.

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  (951): so let's talk penis. http://tfl.nu/oygv
  Replies (16) Good night (4414) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

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  (310): i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito. http://tfl.nu/9mvh
  Replies (15) Good night (4495) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?

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  (503): How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record? http://tfl.nu/dn2a
  Replies (37) Good night (866) Bad night (4250) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.

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  (757): I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/hl6i
  Replies (14) Good night (4738) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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  (815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt
  Replies (28) Good night (5930) Bad night (1575) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

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  (615): His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win? http://tfl.nu/uubh
  Replies (11) Good night (2173) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging

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  (208): Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging http://tfl.nu/urdf
  Replies (27) Good night (755) Bad night (2460)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.

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  (260): One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not. http://tfl.nu/b9k9
  Replies (6) Good night (557) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?

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  (404): When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012? http://tfl.nu/cat9
  Replies (12) Good night (1566) Bad night (531)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Great news I took pics last night

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies

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  (908): Great news I took pics last night (908): Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies http://tfl.nu/mrta
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (278)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"

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  (306): dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high" http://tfl.nu/ssrm
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt

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