Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.