Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened