I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.