dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
