remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I came home braless and wearing a tail....