Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY