Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
