HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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