My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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