Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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