what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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