Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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