just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
