Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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