I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
