You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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