Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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