that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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