Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It's Friday. Sex?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
