i permit you to call me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
