Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
