oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
