someone get that fucking seahorse.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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