Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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