i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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