I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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