hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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