Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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