I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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