we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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