this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
