i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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