My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If I die, sorry about rent.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
