If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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