Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
