Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
