She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
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She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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