I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
