dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
