I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
