What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The adults are the big ones right?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
