i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I need to stop coming to work sober
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
