Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
