Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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