I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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