i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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