then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Someone came in the potted fern
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
