The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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