I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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