I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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