found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
