you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
