No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize