Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
