Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
