I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
