her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
