i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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