Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
