Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize