Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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