wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
