You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
no. you can't hotbox the world.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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