I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
