If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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