Umm I'm too high to move.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
